Would you like to order a new soul with a side order of pizza while in New Zealand??

Well apparently the chain of pizza restaurants called “Hell Pizza” is in the soul buying business.  And who knows – maybe for the right price – you can purchase from Hell Pizza, a new soul while ordering your double cheese pizza.

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Having problems ‘getting it up and keeping ‘the snake charmed’’ … and can’t afford Viagra???

Eat some Watermelons.  Just don’t expect to keep it going all night long… unless of course you have a plate of the stuff on your bed stand or coffee tables – you know, nearby all the action…

Just remember… the downside to eating all that watermelon … it’s a diuretic.  Yeah – can sorta put a damper on things.  And all that sugar… can and will put a cramp in it.  Oh.  And you will need to eat the rinds of the watermelon.

On second thought – you might just want to stick to the lil blue pills…

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Feeling a little bumbed out and spiritually repressed?

Well… try a little magic mushroom.

Have addictions?  Maybe Cancer related depression and/or anxiety?

Nothing like the magic of ‘magic mushrooms’ to increase your overall well-being.  The study funded by the US Institute of Drug and Abuse did a study on this illegal substance and concluded:

“This is a truly remarkable finding,” Griffiths said in a statement. “Rarely in psychological research do we see such persistently positive reports from a single event in the laboratory.”

“This gives credence to the claims that the mystical-type experiences some people have during hallucinogen sessions may help patients suffering from cancer-related anxiety or depression and may serve as a potential treatment for drug dependence…”

I can just imagine explaining this to a judge… “I swear Sir – I was really depressed (giggles)… you should try some – you look a little irritated.  These will surely help!!!“

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Becareful… if your child doesn’t invite everyone to his/her birthday party… human rights and discrimination charges can be filed against your 8 year old.

A case in Sweden has the community in an uproar when a school teacher confiscated an 8 yrs old boys invitation when he failed to invite ALL but two of his classmates, in violation of the school’s policy.  The two uninvited children in question: one bullied the 8 yr old for months on end and the other didn’t invite him to his birthday.

This resulted in a claim filed with parliament.

Yeah.

Damned if you do.  Damned if you don’t.

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Oh and one more thing…

Men – you need a little surgery on your… errhhh… ‘boys down there…”  don’t go to to Romania for the procedure – no matter how inexpensive it is.

You might want to read this first before filing for your passport and catching that flight….  He COULD be a distant relation to Lorena Bobbitt…

Just saying… THINK TWICE… you could be left a little short handed… if yah know what I mean…