Posted by: ~KC~ | August 23, 2007

Love Affair With Failure

What is life without inspiration, adventure, and mischief?”

This is a quote from a great WordPress blog I have grown addicted too… And it got me thinking about my life… I encourage you to delve into this man’s musings… you won’t be disappointed.

Lately I’ve been living in absolute fear of failure.  I’ve been shrouded in fear of the unknown, in the sheer possibility that I might fail and not be able to live up to a promise that I made to my father and live up to the grandios dreams I painted for myself.  So much so that I ended up sick and in the hospital because I became so toxic to myself… sadly it’s what it took to make me realize what I had been doing to myself.  Somewhere along the way – I forget what inspired me… became resentful at my lack of adventures and even mischief… and got lost in my own misery and fears…

Shame on me…  I should have known better… but I am human afterall…

It got me to thinking… why are we so afraid of failure?  What is it that makes us so afraid of making a mistake… of not being able to accomplish what we set out to do?  Why do we fear failure so much?  What makes a person press on for perfection?  At what point did we equate imperfection with failure?  At what point in our lives did we make failure a bad and shameful thing?  When did the negative stigma get attached to not being able to accomplish or meet our goals?  Does it make us less human?

Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

We put tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect all the time… to get it right – straight away.  We spend so much time focusing on the end result that we forget the moment – the here and now and taking full advantage of the present.  We look for shortcuts to fast forward the now and hope to the gods above that we don’t get caught and fall flat on our faces.  We want to plan for the future but it’s not here yet.  We want to know and control how we are going to go about our tomorrows and spend more time avoiding and predicting our tomorrows that we forget to breath and live in the today.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.” ~ James F. Bymes

A paradigm shift has to happen to truly be happy within… failure or not.  Afterall… isn’t it in failure that we learn valuable lessons?  If it was perfect all the time… where would there be room for spontaneity, for inspiration and mischief???  If our lives are not in any danger… then why hide from the ‘what ifs’, from the possibility mistakes or failure and cease opportunities without the worries of tomorrow?  Must we absolutely control every aspect of our destiny or can we leave a little to fate… to the unknown?  Do we not trust ourselves enough to know that no matter what… we will be OK regardless of the outcome? 

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” ~ William Allen White

Where is our faith?  How can a love affair with failure be healthy?  Didn’t you know that a little mud on our faces (from the fall, should it really happen) is really good for the complexion???  People pay really good money for such things…  I think its time to take life a little less seriously and live in the moment.  Tomorrow isn’t here yet…

Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson



  1. Hi KC
    Love the new site. Reading this blog you reminded me so much of Robert. For him failure is not an option. To fail, means to lose, which means you are a loser. For me failure isn’t such a tragedy. It’s a way to find out that…”well, that doesn’t work, try something else”
    No one likes it when things go wrong, and hopefully they won’t. but if by chance they do, then you just try a different tack!

    Good luck with the new site honey!

  2. I finally made it over to read your new blog. Good point you are making about mistakes. I don’t know where I would be today if it weren’t for the mistakes of the past. You take risks, you either succeed or fail, and if you fail, you think and reflect on why you failed, and move on to other things. I believe in the chinese yin/yang philosophy. You can’t know success with out knowing failure and vice versa.

    Hope everything is well on you end. Talk to you later.

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