Yeah… don’t misinterpret my post on The Price.
No. It’s not a case of once you go black, you don’t go back… wink, wink… nudge, nudge.
I find that statement complete absurd. In fact, it’s offensive. As though I don’t have a choice in the matter.
I have a choice.
Such a statement degrading honestly. On so many levels, even if said as a wink wink nudge nudge. Not only to me but to every person who identifies themselves as African-XXX. Because it assumes that it’s only sexual… at least in the context it’s been presented to me. It assumes that they are only good for one thing. It assumes I only want one thing from them.
I’ve been on a few dates with about 6 different men since – since last fall. Some have been with men of colour. Others have been Caucasian, and one that you would mark as Non-White/Visible Minority box on a government form. Even in my current dating sphere, the serial monogamous dater that I am. One Fact remains: I haven’t had sex with any of them.
Besides the fact that I am publicly stating I haven’t had sex in several MONTHS (pick yer jaw off the ground folks), I am getting to a different point here… because I am at a different place in my life. This doesn’t put me above anyone else. It just got me to view things in a very different manner.
If my preference was only about sex – I’d have plenty of opportunities to ‘tramp’ around. And trust me when I say, right now, I have plenty of reasons to be wishing I was tramping around at this very moment. ‘Cause when a woman has needs… she shouldn’t be shunned for them. But the connection that I am seeking isn’t solely in the sheets… which has been recently implied with the above statement. The connection I’m seeking is far deeper than the physical. And although my preference is clearly stated in The Price… the idea of settling for anything less than the full package, basing it strictly on the colour of skin – because supposedly once you go black, you don’t go back… is even more absurd to me.
I’d rather be alone than settle for anything less than what I deserve. I don’t care if you’re black, white, beige, yellow or purple – if you don’t bring you’re a-game to the table and keep it there … then See Ya. Because I know you expect the same of me in return. I’m an action kinda girl. Words are just words. In fact, words make us hypocrites… unless followed up by genuine action. And that fact isn’t a race, creed or belief issue. That is a human issue.
To say… once you go black, you never go back… is like just as ignorant as saying a black man only likes big girls… or being white is better than being black… or that all Islamic and Muslim nations are all terrorists… or that Jews are better than Christians… vice versa in all mentioned cases. You might laugh at it, stating it as a joke… saying it to be funny. You might not even realize its implications. But to perpetuate these stereotypes is to give power to negativity. And we have enough negativity in this world. Words… have power… even if you hide them behind jokingly.
You can hide behind all the words you want, the jokes, the puns. You can say this and that about this and that. You can say you’re/pretend to not be this or that. But… live your truths. Look in the mirror and take a good honest look at what you see, feel and believe. If you aren’t walking your talk… then shut the fuck up. Because talk is great. But you’re wasting time if you’re not prepared to act, and sacrifice.
I’m far from perfect… but I sure as hell know how to be honest with myself. And I am sure as hell busting my butt off to walk my talk… and to get it right, change what’s wrong with me. Because “The wisest man follows their own direction ~ Euripides”… you better make damn sure you know where you’re going and what and who you’re taking along with you. Common sense, don’tcha think??