My assumptions: I never thought that Mexico existed in the US until San Antonio, Texas. I knew it influenced a lot of the architecture and had a huge impact on southern US history… but walking around downtown San Antonio – it was rather difficult to differentiate parts of Mexico with the city. That took me by surprise.
The flight from Detroit, MI to San Antonio, TX isn’t a long one by all accounts. But the flight there was worst than being jack-rabbitted – head pounding erratically on the headboard errhh… side of the plane from insane amount of turbulence for well over 160 miles. I can handle turbulence but this flight left me queasy and begging to be let off of this drunken terrible one night stand… At least let me have an orgasm dammit… Nope. Nadda.
OK – my first initial un-adulterated impression of San Antonio – WOW. Let me make it even more specific – the Riverwalk – WOW x2. I realized after walking around above ground that there are two worlds in San Antonio… and the above ground captivated my interest more than the underground. Unfortunately, my traveling companions didn’t share my sense of adventure and we didn’t venture too far above ground from the hotel. I did more exploring than they did… but sadly, I didn’t get to experience what I had hoped to find… the REAL city and its people. In hind site, perhaps that wasn’t such a terrible thing. I explored many of the downtown historical sites and churches. I didn’t get to visit the Missionaries as I had wanted… but that can be for another trip.
Below ground – it’s a completely different life. It was hard to remember where you were – it was beautiful and on so many levels – extremely romantic (which made up for the terrible affair of the flight down). I’ve concluded that I do want to go back but this time with someone special for exactly that – a romantic getaway.
Canadians are a rare commodity in San Antonio. Which is nice because they don’t have too many preconceived notions about who we are… which are also usually so far out of the park that you have to wonder what planet they are living on. I don’t have a strong Canadian dialect to start off with. Canadians from either coast aren’t sure which part of Canada I’m from and many Americans don’t believe me when I tell them I live in the land of the Maple Leaf, hockey and Tim Horton’s coffee. That is until I show them my ‘funny money’…
Now… as far as riding a cowboy… well let’s just say the following: the opportunities were in abundance but … It appeared as though I had a sign only visible to others that said “If you are married… hit on me!!!” There was a big conference happening – some telecommunications conference (Linux 5 or something like it) and men were a-plenty. I was propositioned by a few married men… and that just doesn’t work for me. So no riding a cowboy… which coincidentally – there were NO cowboys in San Antonio!!! Perhaps they don’t hang out on the Riverwalk… but I wanted to at least see one real live Texas Cowboy. Much to my chagrin – it appears they are an elusive breed. I will keep my observations under wrap as to what I thought of the men of SA – perhaps mostly the tourists, since I am pretty damn sure I met more out-of-towners than actual locals – but let me tell you one in particular got a piece of my mind, leaving him shocked and stunned – reeling. I might be Canadian but don’t fucken disrespect me or my friends – keep your hands to yourself unless you are invited to touch. Gentlemen are rare… even in the South, or so it appeared to be case, especially on that night.
Other than that particular instance… eye-candy was in abundance… However, when you travel with a married couple and your best friend who caught a terribly nasty bug … bringing said eye-candy up to the room for a night of tasty delights… wasn’t in my cards. So… I settled for what I coined as Big Assed Margarita’s … which is probably what kept any flu-like bugs at bay. Hey – a couple of 32 oz Margarita’s is enough to keep any kind of bug away!!! The locals loved it when I ordered said BAM’s… because I get all giggly and silly… making their service pleasant… and if he was really cute and flirted a bit – he got a good tip. It appears that I have acquired a taste for this Mexican delight – Tequila. OK – not straight up – at least not at first. Let me get passed the buzz… and then bring out the shots of the good stuff… But – the married couple – not big fans of Tequila. Mention the word ‘Tequila’ to my puking best friend… and well… you guessed it… more puking and cursing. Definitely wasn’t their idea of a fun drinking night. Oh well. I enjoyed it!
The phrase “Everything is Bigger in Texas…” appears to be rather true. Not only are the waist lines bigger… but the food portions were insane!! Dear Lord – do people really eat all that food in one sitting??? I can see why… it was incredible!!! OMG – it’s hard to come back to Canada after eating that amazing food… The portions were insanely big and the prices were incredibly affordable. When you can’t even finish a freakin’ Cobb Salad (which incidentally was the BEST DAMN Cobb salad I ever had) because it was WAY TOO MUCH… that’s an indication of way too much food! I would be morbidly obese if I lived there… being already full figured as it is… I really don’t know how it’s possible to eat that much food and not be insanely obese. (Side track here: I had a few women at the local stores in stitches when they were complaining about their waist lines and the lack of fitting clothes … I simply explained that I have an hour glass figure that simply ran out of time… Apparently – the Texans loved that expression…It doesn’t matter who or where you live – no woman is ever happy with her figure.)
Three of us did a Ghost Hunt tour of the city – parts of the downtown core. OK – honestly – waste of money if you are looking for spirits and ghosts. It’s a very interesting walking tour of the city if you are interested in learning about the morbid and violent history of San Antonio. How much of it is truth vs. folklore remains to be determined… but for the $15 that I paid… it was an interesting investment. But – no ghosts. Don’t expect to see any. No gadgets will show you that… despite what the man tells you. But interesting nonetheless… and could satisfy the most overactive imagination amongst us all… because walking around in some parts of SA in the dark was enough to spook a few of my friends… ghosts or no ghosts.
One thing I learned the hard way… the Texas sun is very very strong – even in the shade. You burn. At least my fair skin burned. I’m now sporting a nice shade of pinkish-purple’ish red on most parts of my body. SPF15 doesn’t protect you from the Texas sun – definitely not effectively. It will eventually turn into a nice tan… not until it bubbles and peels off.
So after it was all said and done… would I go back? Hell yah. But next time… it’ll be a different kind of trip – or at least I would very much like it to be. And would I recommend it… absolutely. It is quite an experience… offers a lot for any traveler. Is it a real indication of what Texas is about? I don’t think it is. But – if you’ve never been to Mexico and would like to experience it without crossing an international border… definitely visit San Antonio. You won’t be disappointed.
So now… I have to recouperate. I am exhausted. My feet are killing me (practical shoes are a necessity… even if they aren’t sexy… which is lesson #2 I learned the hard way). My skin feels like it’s on fire (going from 100ºF to low 60’s means you feel the heat) and it’s in need of a little vitamin E. Pictures will be forthcoming. Sadly – nothing overly incriminating – and I’ve been warned to not share unflattering pictures. I’ll see what I can do…!