“That friendship will not continue to the end which is begun for an end” ~ Francis Quarles
Very important people in a persons life.
True friends are even harder to find.
And like any relationship, one must work at maintaining said friendships.
I’m not talking about mere acquaintances here.
I’m talking about people you miss when they aren’t around – the ones you crave to share your news, good or bad, with. That you want to do things with and seek out their company. The kind that if you haven’t spoken to each other in years that you can pick up exactly where you left off, as though no time has elapsed. The ones that you can cry and laugh with, without fear of judgement or retaliation. You can simply be YOURSELF and be loved for it.
Those kinds of friends.
When my father moved in, my priorities changed. When I moved a hour (full hour roundtrip) out of town, things changed. When finances (house poor) became challenged, things changed. I don’t go out as much anymore – in fact, I hardly go out at all. A lot of it has to do with personal choice. I have chosen to not go out. It’s become the same shit over and over again… the same drama… the same faces… the same everything. Like a soap opera – you can go months without watching it and it all takes is one or two episodes to get all caught up and know exactly what’s going on… who’s doing who… who’s killed who… who’s mad at who… I got tired of the drama and soap opera.
No doubt about that.
And I honestly don’t mind.
I can still get down and dirty… have a blast.
But I’m sick and tired of the same old same old… all the drama and crap that surrounds those that I once felt were awesome friends.
That distance – mostly self-imposed – has allowed me to see things differently. I can now see just how selfish some truly really are (and not in the good “I need to take care of myself” selfish – in the “I use people to my own advantage” kind of selfish)… how domineering others are… how truly wonderful others really are… You get to see the truth. People’s true colours become very apparent.
And that is bound to change things as well.
Priorities you put on certain friendships change.
Drawing the line in the sand, re-establishing boundaries doesn’t always come easily or nicely. In fact, it can often come as a result of something rather ridiculous (like a fucken picture on Facebook)… because the pressure builds up. You get tired of people’s bullshit egos, the audacity of them telling me what to do and not to do, how to be and not be (for fear it might make them look bad… ‘cause life is always all about them!)… taking people for granted and abusing that relationship.
The thing is…
My priorities have changed.
While others are still living their x-rated Peter Pan complex of a life.
That’s not me anymore. Hasn’t been for at least a year now.
Which to some supposed friends, that makes me boring.
Since I don’t go out anymore, I’m not fun anymore.
And they feel the need to tell everyone this. Making up explanations as to why this and that about my life.
That’s not friendship.
And I’m stronger now. I don’t need to put up with that.
Perhaps this is for the best.
I am ready to leave this place.
I am ready for something new.
I am ready for change.
Moving an hour away made me ready.
Made my priorities change so that I can grow and evolve.
And I am choosing to no longer be stagnant.
To no longer do things the same way as I always did.
I don’t honestly care if I am perceived as the party person… or ‘fun’ anymore.
But I do care about taking control back over my life.
And it appears as though certain friendships aren’t coming along for the ride.
What was… really isn’t much after all.
And that’s disappointing.
But it’s for the best… better to know now… than before its too late.
But a person reaches a certain point where one can no longer hide from the truth… that some friendships just don’t last. Some friendships have ran their course.
Everything has its reason or season… and if truly blessed and lucky – somethings will last a lifetime.