Posted by: ~KC~ | July 31, 2008

The Road Rage She-Devil

By all accounts… I am slow.

No. No.

Not mentally or emotionally.

Sheesh.

I am slow to get going, especially in the morning.

Slow to wake up.

Slow walking (I much much prefer a nice stroll over speed walking thru life)

Slow eater

I don’t run (not pretty … seriously… I can if necessary… but it ain’t pretty)

I am quick to make up my mind – but don’t rush me.

Let me run thru all the options first… I can process things rather quickly, where required.

Especially if I have visual aids to go along with it.

I can work fast and accurately to meet deadlines… but I do much better work under less restrictive timelines. I don’t think this makes me unique… I believe we are all this way.

Don’t tell me what to do or rush me.

Ask me and encourage me…

It’s better all the way around.

Seriously.

Trust me on that one.

So… for the most part… I like to take my time with everything that I do… and I mean everything.

I believe that taking my time… allows me to be vigilant and observant, picking up much more than those who rush thru everything. I notice details that are often overlooked, allowing me to seize opportunities as they come up… because I observe.

To some – it’s a weakness.

To me – it isn’t. I have gained a lot.

But ….

Put me behind the wheel of a car… and dear gawd… the speed demon, mild-med road-rage-witch comes out and GET OUT OF MY WAY FOR FUCK SAKES!!!

I have zero tolerance for slow, terrible drivers – especially those that are in the passing lane barely doing the speed limit and won’t move over… oh the Fire within just explodes and itsa uhhhgleee.

In town… we have a lot of blue/silver haired, it’s-Sunday-everyday-of-the-week, nose to the steering wheel drivers… MANY who don’t understand the concept (or did they loose it along the way… not sure about that one) that the dotted lines down the middle of the road weren’t designed specifically for them to drive straight down the middle of it. No honey. It’s not your own personal guiding lines… to your destination. ***shudder *** They frighten the bejuzus outta me. They are the worst drivers and the scariest drivers of all… and have been the cause of many an accident. But no one wants to address the fact that after a certain age – one should be tested annually for driving, and a license should be revoked if they don’t pass. As simple as that. But they don’t… and it’s scary.

Look – yes. I love to drive fast. Pedal to metal if I could… I totally would and do. I’m not a dangerous driver. I’ve got a clean record, no accidents (knock on wood – I am going to keep it that way). I am a defensive driver… aware of my surroundings. I don’t answer my cellular unless absolutely necessary. If I have someone coming up on my ass and I can move over … trust me I do. I am very careful with passengers – especially children. No need to take risks, especially with kids.

But get the fuck outta my way.

And use your goddam blinker… it’s not optional on a fucken car!! Oh… and stick to your own fucken lane, for fuck sakes! Pay attention to driving … don’t be fucken doing your makeup or shaving, texting your BFF or eating your bowl of Wheaties while driving. If you haven’t studied for your exam by now – you’re shit outta luck – don’t be studying and driving at the same time! Drive with your hands and not your knees or feet.  The yield & merge signs are not stop signs… and if you’ve merged – check to make sure your blinker still isn’t on!!! The list can go on and on and on….

GAWD.

Bad and slow drivers irritate the living fuck out of me.

And the trucker mouth comes out… cursing in languages I sometimes wonder where the hell I learned them from…

And at times… fingers and hand gestures come on out… to wave them the fuck along.

‘Cause… when I’m in a car… godammit… I’m going places… and don’t you dare be the one to interfere with that!! It ain’t gonna be pretty.  And if you’re a bad stupid driver… you will irritate me even further.

Yeah.

I can be a road-rage bitch.

I own that.


Advertisements

Responses

  1. You’re TOO FAST AND TOO FURIOUS! :p

    GOOD THIS…

  2. tee hee….i live in the land of retirement folks. They think they own the roads and well i wish i had a zapping button on my steering wheel where i could zap the person in front of me right back to their home. they drive me effin’ nuts

  3. People who aren’t motivated to GO when the light turns green or who are quick to speed up to pass you only to get right in front of you and slow down deserve a special place in hell.

  4. My drive to work encounters a lot of slow drivers. I understand your frustration.

  5. Denton, the place where I now reside is full of gray heads. One learns to embrace their failings after a while. 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: