Posted by: ~KC~ | January 26, 2009

Cold. Damn Cold.

Your horoscope for January 26, 2009

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21)  You need to start celebrating your uniqueness and stop comparing yourself to others! You have your own personality and it’s wonderful — so what if it prevents you from clicking with every single person you meet? It’s no fun to always get along with everyone, anyway. Conflict is part of life, and having a preference for who you want to spend time with shows that you have taste. And the people who are in your circle of friends know how special they are. That’s what matters.

 

 

OK.  So when I saw my horoscope today I let out a sigh.  Almost a chuckle sigh, you know the kind?

Vancouver has some pretty interesting idiosyncrasies… and many of them are very surprising to me.

What constantly surprises me is how off-putting people are here.

Let me explain – the best way I know how.

Vancouver isn’t a friendly city.

The general population is highly reserved and cold… highly suspicious of everyone and not interested in making new friendships.

You are treated like an intruder.

In many ways – it’s VERY much a clique.

Ask someone to do something – and they always appear to have other plans – better plans, that simply don’t include you.  Don’t expect an invite either.

The only way to do anything is:

1.        You have an in or know someone who knows someone who knows someone who doesn’t mind ‘intruders’ tagging along.  There’s no direct in.  To anything.

2.       Get really comfortable doing things on your own and start enjoying your own company.

 

I’m a pretty social and outgoing person – but I am also very comfortable doing things on my own.  But there are times when certain things are better enjoyed with others.

 

This is what happened:

One of the local radio stations recently switched ownership and is now Virgin Radio 95.3 (you can listen online – it’s a pretty decent mix of everything – I like it) at the beginning of 2009.  They held a radio contest – giving away VIP passes to their exclusive Launch with special guest Katy Perry performing a few of her hit songs.  I lucked out.  I got the LAST set of tickets given out.  That was Friday night.  The Launch Party was Saturday.

 

Now – had I been in London – I would have had NO problems finding anyone to come along – new or not so new in town.  Wouldn’t have mattered… as a matter of fact, any other Canadian town that I’ve lived in – finding people to come along would NOT have been difficult to do.

 

I called.  I asked people.  Coworkers.  Contacts.  Cousin (although she is married and has two little ones – her not being able to come is completely understood).

 

And it was pulling teeth to find anyone who wanted to come to this great event.  I got a lot of half-hearted interest – cancellations right left and center (I won a total of 4 tickets, me & 3 guests).  Now I was more than prepared to go on my own but I don’t go to bars by myself.  A policy that I have… safety in numbers type deal.  Finally – after complaining on Facebook – I found two others that I hardly knew (well I knew the one and not the second – but it was her roommate) to come along.

 

Now it was a blast!  Katy Perry rocked the house with a fantastic acoustic set of her 4 hit songs.  There were drag Queens, contortionists, artists (a bicycle mechanic???), flight attendants and what not… I ‘knew’ two of the DJs who were once hosts on a radio station I listened to in Ontario.  I made sure to introduce myself and we struck up conversation… all confirming how I feel about Vancouver…

 

It is one of the most difficult places in all of Canada to make new friendships.  Let’s even say acquaintances.  If you’re not part of the ‘in crowd’… you’re screwed.  People are soo guarded.  They don’t even let you in long enough to see if you might even want to stick around to talk to them.  They are cold-hearted.  So incredibly untrusting.

 

Which confuses the hell out of me… because in a town that is surrounded by such natural beauty, I can’t help but feel open – free.  The hippiesque, free-loving lifestyle BC once totted about – is definitely NOT alive and well in Vancouver.  They all moved to the interior of the province.

 

I’ve concluded – that as much as I love walking out the door each morning to see the beautiful mountains, glimpses of the ocean… Vancouver will NOT be my permanent home.  I am not connected to this place – it won’t let me.  And I suppose it’s not a bad thing.

 

I’m trying to understand how this could be… but why bother?? LOL…

I love my country… in spite of itself.

I love its natural beauty… its humbling and awe-inspiring.

But it’s definitely not home.

 

And perhaps that is what I was feeling when I was crossing the US to make my way Westward… I had this feeling in the pit of my gutt that I wouldn’t be there long.  That this place is just a pit stop to something far greater.

 

This weekend just solidified that for me.

And if this is truly just a pit stop – then it’s not such a bad thing to not be making any deep connections.

But it would be nice to at least find some genuine people who might actually be excited to be out, trying out new things and having a good time… without judgment, expectation and suspicion.

 

And for that… I was homesick.

I miss my peeps in Ontario.

Even though I’m never going back to live there… I miss those connections.

I miss my peeps.

And I hear… they miss me too.

It’s beautiful here… but damn, it’s cold. Starting right at the heart.  Damn cold.

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Responses

  1. Las Vegas is like that, you can live next to your neighbors and never speak to them. It is like that a lot of places actually. It sounds like you had a great time. Too bad everybody is so unfriendly there.

  2. Spend an evening with Katy Perry? I’d have been definitely in without a doubt. 😉

    Whenever I visit London over here, it can also be quite unfriendly at times. I guess it’s all about who you know to get accepted into their circles.

    I’m sure there are some genial people in Vancouver & if you’re an outgoing personality hopefully you’ll encounter them sooner rather than later.

  3. I think it is time you headed South to your neighboring country for a stay. The economy is scary, but I can name numerous places like you described, throughout this beautiful country.

    Hope you had a great time (and hope the folks who came along did, too!).

  4. I know what you mean, I felt that way about my hometown after we moved back. While I still will say they aren’t as open as some places I have been, I have friends now. Plus side is I try to really welcome newcomers realizing how I felt. So I hope it changes for you too, it is hard being lonely.


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